REAL MEN...

Real Men, according to my 8 year old, don't wear shirts to bed.  They just don't.  He's also got the 4 year old on board as well, and we now lovingly refer to them as The Shirtless Wonders. Formerly, Ethan was also known as The Toothless Wonder - 4 years of missing front teeth needs a special title from their father.

However.......

Did you know that Real Men also carry purses?  Yep.  This one in particular was a clever attempt to disguise a toy train that the 4 year old knew his dear mother would not purchase for him at the store.  He asked for it, begged and pleaded for it, was repeatedly told no, and then told me that he would walk down "this aisle" and for me to walk over on "that aisle" and that we'd meet at the front of the store.  Upon our meeting, Little Man is holding a new little gold purse and says, "Ok. Let's go!"and he looks at me wondering if he was just about to pull off the biggest heist in his 4 year history.

But being the supersmart mom that I am, I am not easily fooled by his trickery.
"Becks, You know that if you take that train out of the store that would be stealing and they'll put you in jail?"  "Do you want to go to jail?" I say sweetly.
No response.  This picture from my phone was captured just seconds away from total destruction.  I saw his little fingers begin a death grip onto the bag.  His face shows the dilemma he is battling.  But apparently he's not afraid of going to jail, because at this point he was fixed and immovable.  Nothing was going to get that train out of his hands.
After all attempts at negotiations had failed, I told the sales clerk that it was about to get ugly and that I was just going to have to hand her the looted train and grab the 4 year old in a football hold and head for the car.  (I've done this before, you see.  I knew exactly what was coming.  I know any mean mom can relate.)
He began what was truly an amazing tantrum.  One for the books.  I didn't know he had it in him!  It's been a couple of years since I have seen something so well executed - I was almost wondering if he had passed that phase.  But this must have been his last stand.  He kicked, screamed, stomped his feet spinning in circles at the same time wailing like a maniac while I was trying to open the car, and basically put his best effort into escaping from his car seat.
After an exhausted 10 min, we finally left the parking lot and he began his verbal threats.
"Mom.  I am not living with you anymore!!"  He screamed, to which I sugary sweetly replied, "But Becks, I'll miss you!  Can I at least come visit you?"
"NEVER!!"  He yelled ferociously.  This kid was ticked.
"I'm going to mess up your room!!"   "I'm going to break your bike!!"  The threats continued for almost an hour before the little guy finally tuckered out and fell asleep back at home.  When he woke up, he was all loves and kisses.
Real Men and Little Boys simultaneously co-existing in the same little bodies.

Easy Parenting 101:  

Summer Baths for the kiddos

I'd Like You To Meet My Mysteriously Misguided and Mischievous Mini Me, Myrtle.

Mini Me Myrtle is driving me nuts.  She won't  leave me alone this summer and she has completely messed up my M.O.  It's like she is a dark rain cloud that keeps following me around and is rather quite stubborn and obnoxious. Very annoying.  Let me tell you why.
This has become the summer of Bad Habits.  Mini Me Myrtle has a simple strategy.  Destroy any and every good habit that I have worked so hard to develop.  Quite evil, yes?
The idea was planted over a year ago.  I was at a friends house one morning around 10am.  Her daughter was just coming upstairs and my friend told her good morning.  Good morning?  It's 10 O Clock.  My kiddos are all up by 7am every morning.  How I would love to have a few hours in the morning to get stuff done!  She said that because the rooms in the basement were so much darker, her kids sleep quite late.  Wow!  We were finishing our basement at the time and I couldn't wait to test this out this summer.  Well guess what?  It totally works.  
In fact, we started sliding a little on bed times at the beginning of the summer.  What once was 8:30 or 9:00pm, became 10:00, 10:30, 11:00, 11:30......Crazy late, but we knew that they would sleep in until 10 or so the next day.  That's still 10 hours!!  So I let it slide, and slide it did.
As the hours got later and later, I was going to bed later and later. Instead of waking up ready to run, I woke up really unmotivated.  Although my kids were sleeping later, I wasn't getting much accomplished in those early hours.  It was as if I needed their driving force to get me going.
So 10am wake up turned in to 11:00 breakfast, 12:00 finally getting out of pj's and then the next 2 hours playing the mean chore mom.  The day was half over and we're just getting started!  Simple fix was to get them to bed earlier.  This has become the most evasive task yet.  It had become a habit.  A bad habit that was not easy to change. It's kinda like when your car is stuck in a rut, your wheels are spinning and you're trying to get out, but you don't move anywhere.  You keep thinking, "Just gain some traction and kick in, you dumb tires! This isn't rocket science!" You finally get agitated enough that you call in for some help and have others give you a push. But the whole process is not quick  - and therein lies the frustration.
Kids not getting enough sleep is nightmarish.  They fight, whine, and complain.  Which makes Mom extremely unpleasant.  So unpleasant, that Mom had finally had it with the 8 year old whining when she told him to "Get off the wii!" for the millionth time and ultimately unhooked the entire system and told Ethan he was done with it for the summer.  The ENTIRE SUMMER!  It has been 4 days, and I am happy to report that the said 8 year old is still alive and the earth did not stop spinning.  Who knew?


This has just become my summer so far.  Everything I've done to create a healthy, mentally stable me over the years has been replaced by Mini Me Myrtle's masterminded ideas.  I used to get up and run every morning or go to the gym.  I've been doing this for years.  I can count on my 2 hands how much this has happened this summer.  I've woken up tired, decided I needed to sleep more than to run, and every day this just got easier and easier. I've been a little unmotivated to blog.  Not sure why, because I really like having this connection, but the desire just hasn't been there.  Gardening?  Not quite wanting to anymore.  Cleaning my house?  I need to, but really don't have any drive to do it.  Doing the daily dishes?  Biggest task ever.  Reading?  Usually love it.  Can't seem to get interested in any book.  Traveling?  Eh..don't really feel up to planning anything.  But the really weird thing that Myrtle has done to me is mess with my water skiing.  Everything seems off-kilter and that was not left off her list.  Up at Bear Lake last week I tried, unsucessfully 10-12 times to get up out of the water on a slalom ski.  I've waterskied for the last umpteenth years, usually getting up on the first try.  But now, Nada.  It was like my body had forgotten how to do it.  Kerry was sort of laughing and a little confused, wondering what in the world was wrong with his wife in the water.  I started to wonder if I was done - if 35 was the magic number that would be the end of doing something I really love.  I never got up that day.    It was like riding a bike but getting on and falling over everytime.  So I'd say to myself, "Wow, that was weird.  Must be a fluke."  And get on again and fall over.  Repeating 15 - 20 times.  
I tried again the next day.  No go for about 5-6 times. Finally I broke the curse and was up on top of the water and was skiing again.  I yelled out in a mighty Hallelujah and told Mini Me Myrtle, "In your face!!"
This post was really for no other benefit than my own, but I appreciate being able to rant a little.  I've got to address this issue and start making some changes around here, and usually writing it out gives me some accountability to stick with it.
I'm happy to report that Mini Me Myrtle has plans to be leaving, quite quickly I hope.  And that's a good thing, because I'm sick of her.

Firework Safety